Thursday, July 3, 2008

RIP L.L. Bear... sweetest kitty ever to live...


So... it's been one of the worst evenings to date.

I'm sick. Claire has walking pneumonia.

About 4:30pm, the girls were playing with my kitty, Bear, and called me to help. The dog had gone after her. She was twitching. Turns out she was seizing. Turns out she had been sick for some time, and we didn't know.

We took her to the vet around 5pm. They stopped the seizures with valium. Told us they couldn't make a diagnosis. Told us it could be... a brain tumor.... lymphoma... a fungal infection... a bacterial infection... kidney disease... or several other differential diagnoses.

We'd need to drive her to the emergency animal hospital, where they would do an MRI, full blood panel... a cerebral spinal tap, and a lot of other tests... with no guarantee she could be treated or helped.

She was 16 years old. We aren't financially able to foot the bill for thousands of dollars of testing.

The vet had no prognosis... she said that seizures as Bear was having, in such an elderly cat are NOT GOOD. She offered little hope.

I couldn't get hold of Carl, who was at an appointment with a customer. So... I talked it over with the girls, but ultimately, I had to make the decision.

We had to let Bear go. We had to put her out of her misery. She was suffering so much. They had her sedated, but even so... it was clear she wasn't okay.

They could barely find a vein. They tried in her back leg, and got some of the sedative into her.

They tried then in her front leg, and got a bit more into her. Then they tried in her neck, but her blood pressure was so low, it wasn't perfusing the medication adequately.

The vet and I sat with her for a long while... and then she told me that Bear had nothing going on "upstairs" but her heart just wouldn't stop beating. So... she took her back to the treatment room to give her more of the sedative. She'd already been given 8 times the needed dose, but WOULD NOT GIVE UP. I'm absolutely amazed at how hard her heart kept fighting. She finally passed, and we said goodbye to her one last time.

The vet was very sweet, compassionate, and loving.

This has been one of the hardest things I ever had to do.

We will miss Bear terribly. She was an amazing cat. Since the day I rescued her from the Austin, Texas Animal Shelter in 1992... to today... she has been a loving, brave, strong, amazing friend.

Rest in Peace.... Bear.